“Things Dog Owners Say That Make Vets Cringe: Behavior Version”

When a dog is acting funny, and the owner comes out with one of these phrases, we veterinarians not only know what to expect moving forward, but we know more about you than you’d like to let on.

• “She turns real fast with her mouth open but she’s never bitten anyone.”
• “She’s just the sweetest dog at home.”
• “She’s never done that before in her life.”
• “The last vet was rough with her.”
• “She was traumatized as a puppy.”
• “She puts her teeth on you but she’s not biting. She’s just putting her teeth on your skin.”
• “Are you hurting her???”
• “She only nips, she doesn’t bite.”
• “Your white coat scares my dog. The other vet wore a blue coat and she was fine with him.”
• “Your blue coat scares my dog. The other vet wore a white coat and she was fine with him.”
• “I don’t want to put her through training. She had a hard life before I rescued her.”
• “He was never that way with the old vet…”
• “He’s obviously been abused.” (This is especially funny coming from clients who have owned the puppy since he was six weeks old.)
• “He was abused by a man with a beard, wearing a hat.”
• “She’s never aggressive at home! In fact, it’s really cute, to tell you she’s upset, she makes this growly noise first, and if you keep moving toward her, she’ll come over and close her mouth on your hand or her arm. But she never actually bites or anything.”
• “What did you do to him? He never acts that way at home!”
• “She didn’t bite you, she jumped with her mouth open and just scratched you.”
• “He’s just afraid of the muzzle.”
• “Good dog. Good dog.” (Repeated PRN)
• “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
• “Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit.”

Vets and techs, have something to add? What am I missing?